Treatment plan I had to turn in.

I had an hour to come up with this, and didn't edit it thoroughly. My bad. Suggestions are welcome. 

Treatment plan.

For myself, I expect some counseling would be beneficial. The charges held against me include failure to protect. Maybe some self defense classes would help. I hope to be more assertive and stand up for myself and the children at a competent level satisfactory to the department.

I intend to rejoin a church family. Having the twins made it difficult to attend regular services without the constant interruption from the nursery, thus rendering any helpful effect of the church ineffective. I stopped attending when I was put on bed rest and have missed my friends immensely. Now that they are older, I have faith that they can handle being in a nursery setting for the 2 hours required for a typical church service.

I am currently seeking a second job in town (update: I have the second job. I work a lot). I gave up the job out of town so that the children would not require Jason's sole supervision. Once we get closer to getting them back, I will secure child care so they can be 'safely supervised' according to department standards while I work, since it is necessary to work (update: I intend to start another business and only work while they are in school, or just have them with me). As Jason is seeking employment (update: Jason has a job!!!!!) And they like him!), I may have the opportunity to stay home with the kids instead of working in the future. I am seeking low-cost training programs to fill the gaps in my resume for an administrative or managerial position.

I plan to buy multi-unit property so that we can afford to live in a better home for less money. The main restriction from living in town has been financial. Owning a multi-unit property as I have in the past has always secured a better situation for less money than I can typically afford.

My home will remain clean and organized as it typically was when I lived in town in a normal house. When I was the homemaker, there were never concerns of tidiness, sanitation, whether the kids were bathed or clean, etc. I was raised by an obsessively clean mother who taught me likewise.

I intend to fix my credit. With as much experience as I have with financial planning, and without the restrictions I used to have monetarily, there is no excuse for having bad credit at this point. The first thing I will be doing with my incoming paychecks is paying off the collections left over from the fire, which include utilities and furnishings. The total amount I owe besides student loans is less than $5000, I trust that I will be able to pay it all off within 6 months barring acts of God and disasters. Once I pay off the debts, I will be setting aside money for savings towards the purchase of property.

Given the lenient nature of my parenting, which follows my lifestyle of being a reed blowing in the wind, I intend to start parenting classes, which would go hand in hand with counseling to help me become assertive. I need to learn how to put my foot down and not be moved, more like a strong oak. I have always picked men who were more of the strong oak category, and I defer to them far too much for even my own comfort. I want to be like the mothers whose children respect, honor, and are happiest getting accolades from them.

I have always enjoyed random happy acts with my kids, like happy un-birthdays, where I would pick up a cake or treat from the store and we would throw an un-birthday party with friends or family or neighbors (depending on where we were living at the time and how spontaneous it was). We would also take spontaneous trips to nearby locations like Glenwood Springs, Ouray or Gateway. The more children I had, the less often I was able to do this, but it is something that Corinne loved and Ethan experienced a little bit. At least once a month, we would have a picnic or if the weather was too cold, we would pack up lunch and drive through the Monument after church. I am actually pretty shy, being outgoing and making long term friends is difficult for me. Part of my plan is to incorporate this spontaneity with new or rekindled friendships and include others in my support network for these random happy activities.

My short term goals, therefore:

Counseling

rejoin church family

parenting classes

self defense classes (?)

2^nd job, followed by a better single job

Job training

moving in to town

pay off debt

save money

buy duplex or 4-plex

keep house clean & tidy

read parenting books

get my kids back.

Learn to rely on friends and family as necessary

Long term goals:

Continue in the church family

Continue self defense, parenting and counseling

buy another property

save more money

keep house clean & tidy

read more parenting books

help children reach goals

Maintain relationships with friends, neighbors, and kids friends.  

Today

I spoke with my mom today. I haven't had a conversation with her in a long time. Basically, as you know, she is evil incarnate. Some moms do things for their daughters, things to help others selflessly. My mom is not that person. Everything she does will in some way harm someone else if she does it with intent. Otherwise, it just has to have a benefit to herself for her to commit to it. Mom has never done anything for any charity except donate money because she needed a tax deduction, as an example.
Basically, she simultaneously chastised and consoled me for my terrible situation with my terrible husband, and then explained to me that, when you train a bad horse or bad dog,  you don't blame the horse or dog for being bad. Instead you blame the circumstances or the previous owner. Thus, she explained, humans can be considered no better, and how could we blame my son for killing the animals or molesting his little sister? It was obviously my doing. Yes, she slipped and told me it was all my fault. Yay mom!
And then I got to drive back across town to take a drug test, 20 miles out of my way. I got to pee in front of a woman who pretended to not be looking. Thank the Lord that I only had to do it that once, although the social worker fought me tooth & nail because my x (James, the meth-addict, x-con) said that I did drugs with him. Yes, she believed his word over mine. I'm the bad guy. Not used to this.