my conversation with God

The other day, I was standing at work, as usual, trying to run through thoughts instead of getting stuck on one like I usually do. Sometimes I end up praying for the majority of my thoughts, as was the case on this day. I apologize in advance if my conversational style offends you.
"God, please give my children back. You said you would give us the desires of our hearts."
(no response.)
"Please, God, there is nothing I want more than to have my children back. Please help me!"
"What else did I say?"
(pause for thought. I wasn't expecting a response because I usually don't get them until I have a one-sided conversation for a while) "Um, you said to forgive our enemies."
"Ya."
"Ok, that's a tough one. I can forgive her for betraying me but I can't just be friends with her."
"I didn't tell you to be friends with her."
"Oh ya."
"What else?"
"Pray for my enemies." Funny how what God wants to 'talk' about comes to mind.
"Yep."
"Ok, here goes. God, please bless her and change her heart to be more like yours."
"That's a little underhanded, but it's a good prayer and a good start. You can do better."
"I'm not ready."
"I wouldn't tell you to do it if you weren't ready."
"Thanks a lot."
"You're welcome."
"Ok fine. As my Lord and in an attempt to do your will. God, please bless her and give her peace."
"I'll take it for now. What else?"
"You want me to tithe."
"You're a bit overdue."
"But I don't have enough."
"I could take away what you do have."
"Ok fine."
Next comes to mind a picture I saw a while ago of a little boy in Africa who was squatting down, crying, and nothing more than a skeleton. No tears, just thin lips in the shape of wailing, and sad eyes with the bony fingers placed on the sides of the skin-wrapped skull. I could see every rib, the sternum, and every joint pressed tightly to his skin.
"You have never truly been hungry." God whispered. My eyes welled with tears.
"I have to do something."
"Yes you do."
" I can sponsor a child."
"you can do more than that."
"Ok, I can sponsor a child for each of my children up to 10% of my income."
"It's a start."
"Alright, I will do it. You promised that you would open the floodgates of heaven if I tithe. I'm really trusting You on this. There isn't even enough money to make half of my bills this month. I trust You."
   So I went on my lunch break, used my smart phone and sponsored a little boy. They didn't have any boys to sponsor who were born on E's birthday, so I looked for the oldest boy available. He is ten, lives in rural central Mexico, and loves to do all the things my son used to love doing before all of this happened. He plays with cars, and runs errands for his family, which includes two brothers, a mother and father. His father works in agriculture which often takes him away for weeks. The boy gets mocked for being so poor. They live in a make-shift house and, though he's 10, he has never been to school. I sent him an email (it gets translated and delivered snail mail) that said I was glad to sponsor him and looked forward to hearing from him soon.
  Next I sponsored a boy who was born on S's birthday. The only one was in Africa, in a very sensitive area religiously. Most are Muslim, so I have to be really careful about what I write. I am only allowed to offer blessings and peace, nothing to do with God because it could jeopardize the entire World Vision operation in that area. The little boy doesn't get to go to school, but runs errands for his mother. He has 2 brothers, 2 sisters, a mother and father, and they live in an area where most people have AIDS. They said that my funding will go towards whatever he needs, but it made me want to sponsor the whole family since it's the same size as mine. Unfortunately that option isn't available.
  Unfortunately, I don't have enough money to sponsor 2 more kids yet, so on my next pay day, I will send a gift of two chickens and a goat to someone, which is 10% of that paycheck. I'm very excited about this! When I was about ten, my sister and I heard a presentation about sponsoring children through World Vision at our church. My mom relented at the constant begging to sponsor children, so my sister and I each got to sponsor a girl in Africa. We were not nearly as diligent as we should have been with sending the cards and stickers back, but my mom sent the money every month (it was a great deduction, and I happen to need some of those now as well). I saw pictures of the girl growing up until she married at the ripe old age of 14, as per culture in her area. At least she got nine years of education.
   I checked out other areas of the website and found that I can give gifts and get a gift back, which for me would be a talking point. I like talking about things I support, and helping people is something I'm passionate about! So I can give a gift and receive a necklace or bag that was made by one of the communities where WV is stationed, and then when people comment on the item, I can tell them all about how to get one!
   Ok, so the point here is that I had a conversation with God and He told me to do what He says to and then watch Him do what He says He will. I'm very hopeful and have faith that He will keep His end of the bargain. The last time I tithed was several years ago. I tithed everything I received, like food stamps, income, even when I bartered for things. The giving spirit is infectious. I thought my bank account would suddenly start accruing large amounts of interest because the Bible says He will return it 100-fold. That's not really how it worked though. What I discovered was that my dollars stretched more than I could have ever dreamed. For example, I used to receive about 200 a month in food stamps, and about the same in income. I found that if I bought $20 in food and gave it to the food shelter, that $180 would last me the whole month, whereas it typically didn't even come close. I would find sales more often, and better deals just seemed to always be right in front of me. Who knows, maybe my tastes changed too! Regardless, it worked.

What to do...

What do you do when you're out of things to write about? Do you make something up?
This week was a bit long. My neighbors are night owls, and I'm not. So I go to bed, and fall asleep. Beautiful, restful, dreamy, long awaited sleep. I get in to my incredibly strange dreams and work on figuring them out while still sleeping. this is mental work, I tell you! Within 2-3 hours, they all decide it's time to go to partay!!! They happily stagger across the noisy gravel to their chariot. Open & slam the groaning doors, giggling and cackling, then whip the beast into a pur (turn the key), which isn't loud but I'm already up, ready to start screaming from the window that some people around here aren't vampires, then they drive around the backside of the building which is under my windows. Wouldn't be so bad if the windows were closed, but it's 400 degrees inside so i leave them open. Then to add insult to fatigue, 15 minutes before my alarm goes off at 4:50, the kamikaze paperboy careens through the same path at 20 miles per minute, skidding and throwing newspapers at doors and gravel at the fence and cars sleepily dozing in their carports. Dude is horrifyingly reckless. We were running in the mornings, but he tries to run is down and circles around to make a second pass, then he ran over a kitten last week. Well, in all fairness, the lady across the street has 29 full grown cats, not including the fresh litter. I swear, if we ate cats, we would never go hungry in this neighborhood. So I haven't slept well this week. But that's ok, they moved my days off to Thursday/Friday instead of Fri/Sat, so i only had to work 4 days before getting a day to sleep in. I didn't get to sleep in though. I was up early, cleaning the kitchen, studying for my notary, and freezing. Yes, my crippled man forgot the cooler on last night, which he usually turns off around midnight, but it was hot last night. Well, I'm off to clean the tub so he can bathe, then I will go to work. :-) See? Boring! Any ideas?