Case update

The fact that there has been some progress has been remarkable. First we had the treatment team meeting on the 5th of February. That went well: all parties said I was doing everything I was supposed to be doing for reunification. The kids were doing well, except for S, who was getting violent with his foster parent. When I went to court this week, I found out it was worse than they let on, but more on that later. The girls were doing really well, and only having minor reactions to separation from me after a visit. They want to see no reaction or a smooth transition. Since my brother is doing so well with them, there is typically very little reaction.
After the treatment team meeting, I had 2 more visits with S by himself. I had the opportunity to address the violence towards the foster parent. He told me it was an accident, and I rebuked him gently, saying that no, our actions are not accidents, and there are consequences. He was placed with another foster family that night, and was visibly upset by having to be held accountable as that is not something that happens very often. I explained that our visits were going to change, that the girls would join in on the visits because they want to see how I do with all of them together so they can re-unite us. He was not excited, as I expected - he loves his one-on-one time with mom! The girls come in for the first hour, and S & I have 30 minutes together to clean up and possibly play a game, if we clean up quickly enough. I am struggling to come up with meals that we can eat quickly so we can play together more.
The next visit with the girls and S went really well:
 A threw two tantrums, but I followed through and stayed calm & consistent with her. The first fit was testing boundaries - she wanted to see if I really would follow through. With such an audience around not paying attention to her, though, she quickly recovered and went back to being normal & happy (she often growls instead of speaking now as an affirmative answer). The second fit was because she didn't want to go home - she wanted to keep playing. While it melts my heart, she has to do what she's told.
Z behaved very nicely the whole time! She went potty and played well, and just kept eating (We made croissants with cheese inside). She loves to dig in bags, so I handed her a bag of carrots, out of which she would pull one baby carrot, take one bite, then hand me the newly chewed carrot so she could retrieve another. A & S were very helpful and stayed together at Z's pace, so we could switch rooms and get to the bathroom as a 'team' (something the therapist wants to see is that the kids listen no matter how silly it sounds, and I have to treat the visit place like the hallways are parking lots - dangerous and they have to stay with me & hold hands).
S was very helpful - too helpful! I had to keep telling him that I'm the mommy and he doesn't need to help like that. I will have new boundaries to set with him this next week.
After those visits, we had court on Thursday. The case worker told me that a spot had opened up at the mental hospital for S, and with my permission, they would be moving him there that night. The caseworker was very nice, answering all of my questions about S missing school, visits and therapy. He won't miss any of those, which is good. He will also return to the new foster family, who has experience with violent children. Here is what I was told about what happened: S gets very angry when he doesn't get his way and just at random times. At one visit, he said he was going to cut off his fingers when we had the paper cutter out. I have been purposely bringing sharp utensils to test him at the visits. He then said, 'no I'm teasing, i was going to cut off YOUR fingers.' I ignored both comments because they were an attempt to get attention. At the foster home, he tried to push the foster mom down the stairs, punched her face, pulled a knife, kicked the dog and threatened to kill himself on several occasions. He acts out like this for about 10 minutes, then goes back to being completely normal and acting like nothing happened. He will then report that he hasn't had any problems and life is good. If it's PTSD, there is hope. They can stabilize him and he can have a normal life with EMDR therapy (I'll explain in another post if you'd like). If it's flashbacks, there isn't a lot of hope, and he could be labelled as dangerous the rest of his life or medicated.
When I went to court, I had the opportunity to speak with the CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate), who said that my mom had held up the progress of the case by about 6 months by demanding that she was going to get the kids, trying to convince me to give them to her, not cooperating, and by spreading malicious rumors about me causing more treatment to be required. For example, she would say that the kids were very violent after a visit with me. This would cause a report to need to be made, then the caseworker, CASA rep, and 3 therapists had to be called in to visit the home after 3-4 visits (one a week) in order to track the reaction to the visit. If there wasn't one after all 4 visits, they would dismiss it. If any post-visit reaction was noted, the kids would be put in therapy, and progress of the visits would be stopped until no reaction could be noted. SO that is the reason I have been stuck at level 1 for a year! Also, my mom was verbally abusing the kids, which caused problems, and being in & out with her treatments for cancer didn't help.
So there is the update, any questions?

New Adventures...again

This week has been full of excitement and anticipation.
First, there was a treatment team meeting on Tuesday. It went pretty well! They are moving visits along to the next stage, which includes all kids at one visit time/date. It means that they are ready & willing to watch me parent my children all together to see if I'm capable of the task. I am looking for help with age-blended activities so that I can entertain a 3 1/2 yr old pirate/girl, a disabled 3 1/2 yr old ninja/girl, and a very jealous 7 yr old boy. Plus I will have to feed, guide, and attend to their emotional needs all in one little hour and a half window. Wish me luck, I am confident that I can do it without much more hassle than the occasional tantrum.
Second, right after the treatment team meeting, I quit my job. My x was there, and I warned him before hand. He was very nice, like he used to be when we first met. He asked if I had ever quit a job like this before (where there is sensitive info on my computer, where they won't expect me to complete 2 weeks, etc) I said, no, so he talked me through what to expect, knowing that I was an emotional basket case from the treatment team meeting earlier. My boss was very polite, more like humoring me. She didn't feel like it was a good fit, like I was supposed to run in to her office, take everything off her desk, and just do all her work for her, for the salary of $1500/mo, gross, no benefits. Add to that, she wouldn't let me take anything and you have a problem. SOOOO, it ended well, she tried to talk me out of the money she owed me, and I declined. Her husband was more willing to help and insisted that it would be better to 'keep things separate' (which means I'll get paid for the work I did).
Third, I re-booted the cleaning business that I started about a year ago. While I'm getting my wraps business to a profitable place (it breaks even right now), I will have to do something to pay the bills. Since cleaning is pretty easy for me and I can just pick it up any time, that's what I chose.
Fourth, and this is the most awesome part: The fashion show for the Ariel Benefit was today! below are some pictures of my own and then my favorites:

This was the 13 yr scarf made by one friend, and a coincidence-match made by another friend!

the 10th Doctor

Child size beret/hat that I made

One friend made these fingerless gloves/wrist warmers. The detail is exquisite and they are a deep purple cotton. 

the 9th Doctor

This cowl is a cranberry color in reality, and is thick, heavy and warm!

this one is a big twisty long infinity scarf that you can drape like a shawl, wear like a scarf or necklace. I don't care for the colors, but the pattern is wonderful! 

11th Doctor

Here's the poster for the benefit

Ok, this is where I get sketchy...I think this is the 7th Doctor

This is a bright eggplant/fuscia color, and my first-ever lace project. It was a lot of fun to make! 

Teal, one of the girls made this, it was lighter than air, silk, would be my favorite of everything. 

I think this is the 6th or 5th Doctor. I made him, but I don't remember...

One of the ladies made this creative gem - I love it! All pom-poms! It was so fun!

You can't really see this one well, but it's the frayed ends of silk sari's that were twisted into a vibrant, beautiful yarn that I knitted into a very long scarf. A friend (who happened to finish almost everything I started) gave me the yarn a couple of years ago, and I didn't know what to do with it. When she mentioned the gallery, the purpose became clear. It's a thin, super long scarf that is very heavy and vividly colored. A little boy won the bidding on this one, and he was just totally in love with it!

I made this one as well. The yarn is made of these giant chenille spagetti strands that are knitted together in between. It was fun to knit and a lovely gray color. 

This was my second owl. A friend figured out where I was stuck and embroidered the question marks on (this doctor wears a vest with question marks), and figured out an ingenious way to get the umbrella to have an umbrella on the cane! I had tried several times, both the embroidery (I used a sock to practice) and to get the umbrella put together. I hade made the wand, but couldn't figure out the fabric. It turned out beautifully! 

 I am so excited to learn today that an idea can turn into a fantastic thing when placed in the right hands. Those hands belong to my dear friends, who opened an art gallery a few months ago, and decided to get things going with benefits & auctions for charity. They put art in the gallery, people bid, then the proceeds go to a good cause. It generates publicity for the gallery, and money for folks in need. This month's auction/benefit was for Ariel Clinical Services, which was an idea I threw out there about a year ago, I think (maybe longer). I wanted to do a knit-along with the knitting group I am a part of, Weekly Fiber, and we picked owls. One of the girls suggested we make them Dr Who owls after the tv show that we all seem to really like. So we each picked a doctor that we wanted to make, and knitted up the owls. Then someone decided to make it a bigger thing: gallery, wearable items, fashion show... I don't know where the idea came from, but my little idea wasn't little anymore and scared me half to death. They worked it really hard and made it take flight in a really big, amazing and wonderful way that I was so excited to get to be a part of! As you, my friends know, I am not a finisher-person. I make a scarf and leave the ends hanging out. I make a dress and neglect to buy the matching belt so it hangs in the closet, unwearable. I wash the dishes and leave them on the counter. I'm afraid to finish. It was brought to my attention (more than once, by more than one) and it became a theme of something I decided to work on this past month. It's very important for my livelihood to get my life together and finish what I start. So here goes! Wish me luck!