Yesterday we had a treatment team meeting. It was an interesting one!
CPS has an independent evaluator come in and determine if all services are being utilized and if the case is going in a fair direction. Everything seemed to be fine, but my mother complained about having so much on her plate with 'so many' children and 'so many appointments.' I understand her lamenting as I experienced the same concerns before. I inserted that I want to see the boys in sports, and I thought it would be a bad idea for them to go to the pool on free day, what with the 2 year olds need for supervision that my mother is incapable of providing.
My husband spent the entire meeting 'trying to keep my quiet' by complaining loudly and making an embarrassment of himself. He didn't want me to say anything incriminating, so he kept talking over me, interrupting me, and not letting me say anything. I asked how my boys were, and that was all he would allow. My mother played the victim like an expert violinist plays a Stradivarius. She almost cried when my husband brought up the letter she wrote (explaining in unbridled hatred how terrible a person I am) as an example of the negative attitudes held in her household that effect the children. I am not sure how she is the victim, but she sure acted the part. It just made it so clear how much it's all about her.
My boys are not doing well. The oldest is having a very hard time and won't see me. He is completely shut off emotionally and just shuts down whenever he has to confront anything. He goes from -0- to crying or hatefully furious in no time. He is doing well in school, my mom complained that they are behind in school and insinuated that it's my fault. I occasionally inserted historical evidence to defend my children, things such as 'we worked with him on math facts for 2 years, but he just didn't seem to get it. We switched strategies and started with calculus and geometry, with the intention of helping him understand why he needed the basics so we could make more strides in that department.' The younger is having problems with frustration as well. He doesn't know what's going on and is upset about it. He told my mother that my husband wrote a letter saying he loved him, which isn't allowed. That didn't happen, the visit coordinator corroborated. He then told me that my mom tells him that I lie about everything. My mother of course denies that but has no supporting witnesses except the case worker who just defends everything she says.
The girls are making great strides. My mother intimated that it's because they were removed from my home. The girls' speech therapist mentioned twice that the girls have reached a window of opportunity in their development consistent with their age, and they are impressed with their strides. An expert in the field would attribute their willingness and ability to learn to a good home before hand. If they were abused, as is suggested by my mom, they would not be able to learn like this.
Nothing major really happened, but we were told that we might be able to progress to level 2 by the next court date, which is June 8. Level 2 means that we get to have our visitation in the community instead of locked in the little room. I am nervous about that because it will cost money that we don't have, and it will be harder to keep them entertained if we only have 1.5 hours to eat and conduct activities for them.
5 comments:
Going to a park can be free and cheap, if you can do things in the community. It sounds like even though things are not great....it is better, if they are looking into more visits outside the small room.
Also, don't you have like a $1 theater or something like that? Storytime or summer reading program at the library...
We can't go anywhere yet. I am anxious for it! It's' called level 2, and they won't move us to level 2 until they get a confession from (husband) and believe that we are not dangerous people. He won't 'confess' because he would implicate himself in the criminal portion of the charges against him, and would likely spend a significant amount of time in jail. Since they won't grant any kind of immunity for a 'confession session' he is obviously reluctant to implicate himself, either possibly or really. With the threat lingering over his head, it's hard to want to speak up.
We don't have a $1 theater here anymore, just parks. We are supposed to focus on showing off our parenting skills the whole time instead of sitting quietly with the children anywhere. Because we have to feed them at each visit, it takes about 1/2 the time, which leaves about 45 minutes of activities, so it isn't bad. usually a purse full of dollar store goodies is enough for them.
Tuesday and Wednesday $1 theatre coming up at the Regal. Library is a great place for parenting ie: book choice, reading aloud, encouraging the children to read aloud, and you can eat your snacks outside. Bowling might be cheap. $10 full family admission to the Math and Science Museum. Free Sundays 2nd sunday every month at Botanical Gardens & Butterfly house, Tuesdays are always free. $60 for Year long Family Unlimited membership (2 adults, all children under 18). Tuesdays are also free days at the GJ center for the arts. Also, the Fountain on Main Street is on & free. Right next to Connected Lakes is the Audubon land, with Gazebos designed for Bird watching--Free. Enstroms pulls taffy, free to go watch. Climbing gym 10 punch youth pass $70 (the tots probably won't be charged) (Adults who don't climb aren't charged--ask ahead though). High Country Orchards has free tours. There are other orchards, too. $50 year long Family Membership to Western Colorado Museum which equals Cross Orchards and the Dino Museum as well as the Colorado Museum....
Hey, Ann gave you some great options!!! Eating is a great time user!
Those are great ideas for things to do with kids! I miss doing things with them quite a bit. Our visits are on Friday mornings with the girls, from 8:30-10, and with S, Thursday afternoon from 4:30-6. That makes things interesting, but I think most of the places will work for S. Z isn't allowed outside until we get her helmet, which is holding us up from going to the outside play area at the visit place. I bet S would love the math & science center too! Having the visit coordinator there is a little awkward, like if we go someplace to eat, she's not allowed to eat with us so she will be sitting there typing the whole time. I think for the sake of my children, though, ignoring the strange appearance will be appropriate!
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